The Twisted Soaked Tissue

When I first saw the twisted soaked tissue inserted into a large milk carton my mind started racing.  In most normal situations the first interpretation would not be Molotov cocktail.  I, however, was located in a large barn attached to a yard, which had previously been subjected to an incendiary attack by animal rights activists.  A number of vehicles had been blown up using IED’s, and we were three years in on a protection operation.  I had no choice but to report the carton of milk for behaving very suspiciously and set in train events that by the end of the day would amount to about 10,000 Great British Pounds in 1999 currency.  Helicopter, village evacuation and EOD from RAF Wittering…Better safe than sorry but a bloody expensive Pinta, which was all it turned out to be.  Why would anyone twist a tissue to plug the carton opening when it looked so obviously dodgy…?

So from an expensive damp squib I was then summonsed to attend a property recently vacated by the dearly departed and to protect belongings left in the home from local thieves who were already sniffing out opportunities.   Some areas of Kingsthorpe leave little to be desired and this particular terraced street was one of them.  The home was strangely quiet and filled with clutter.  I was surveyed as i entered and left the property.  I moved boxes and furniture to find the optimum locations for detection equipment and then having tested same on my PR Set locked up the premises and headed for base.  I thought little of the installation, moving onto other things; that is, until I spotted the column in the Chronicle and Echo referring to a live hand grenade being located in a box of belongings in said property.  I dread to think what would have happened if I had slung the box in question to one side to make space for my alarm…

Kingsthorpe was also to feature in another close run thing for me.  I had a message to install a police panic alarm in the home of a woman whose husband had domestically abused her and issued threats to kill her.  I pulled together my tools and equipment and grabbed a PR Set, which unusually for me except when testing alarms, I left switched on while mobile en route to the address.  It was just as well because, as I was entering Kingsthorpe I overheard officers on the air discussing a hostage situation where a man was holding his wife at the end of a shotgun and in a siege situation. The address was mentioned and matched that on my tasking sheet.  I immediately joined the chatter and was easily dissuaded from attending the address in question.  Can you imagine a situation where the crime prevention officer arrives at the door to meet two barrels and a trigger happy hubby.  From that day forth the carrying of police radios became mandatory for crime prevention officers.  I am just grateful to have lived to tell the tale and could not tell you why I chose to listen in that day.

The Wan Bond Chinese Restaurant in Bellinge has a lot to answer for.  Billing Mead Square on that Estate was pretty much territory operated by drug dealers and their runners.  You can imagine my excitement when I was tasked with installing an alarm in the take away.  The restaurant had shutter doors but the local offenders had literally cut them open as if with a tin opener.  I had hoped just to sidle in and sidle out but unbeknowns to me an off the rails foster kid who resided four doors down from home had take up employment drug running.  He naturally recognised me and knew my occupation.  it did't come to blows or deteriorate but I did take some heckling and had to stand my ground with them.  To make matters worse the restaurant owner offered me a free take away.  I opted for chicken fried rice.  Chicken Fried writhing pain with food poisoning more like.  The stuff went through me like a dose of salts; never been so ill.

In ten years installing police radio alarms I met some pretty dire people and some good folk in dire circumstances.  I also met the persons responsible for the direness on a few occasions.  My colleagues also had some close encounters.  The least savoury was a female colleague who encountered an offender armed with a samurai sword.  Said offender was the opposite side of the door to my colleague who had the presence of mind to de-scale the situation by indicating that she was armed with a baton and wouldn’t hesitate to use it.  Bravo I say.

If I were to cite one day that had a massive impact on me it would be the day I visited two homes both the sites of murder.  The first home was in Kings Heath Northampton and where a woman had been found hanged on a hook in her bathroom.  The intention of the murderer had been to present a suicide scene but he had made a serious omission.  The chair supposedly kicked away in the bathroom was still in the living room.  The offender realised the error while officers were on site and attempted to sneak the chair into the bathroom under police noses.  He failed.  I had to install an alarm to protect the crime scene and found opening the bathroom door and glancing up at the hook chilling.  The picture in my mind’s eye presented and I could not erase the image of someone hanging there.  I returned to work contemplating the experience but didn’t have too long to languish.

News was coming through that an escapee from a prison had murdered his wife and two young children.  The horror that accompanies such a pronouncement is profound.  Sometime later I was tasked with providing alarm protection at the crime scene.  I was required to collect keys and make my way to the property and do the necessary.  I’m not sure what I expected; nor was I prepared for what was to confront me.  As I opened the door I had already made my mind up that I would get this installation done as quickly as possible.  It was already getting dark and that simply added to my discomfort.  I opened the door and the first thing I saw was the children’s shoes still lined up on a shoe rack in the front hall.  I hesitated and filled up for a few seconds.   In the kitchen I could see the stained floor with the outline of a person quite recognisable there.  What is the price of a life and what possesses people to commit such heinous crimes? 

At the end of this day I arrived home absolutely shattered and emotionally drained.  Seeing my own children alive and well I thanked heaven for small mercies and pressed them close.

During our lives and just through coincidence we come into close contact with situations that are noteworthy for one reason of another.  While serving at the Defence Nuclear Biological and Chemical Centre Winterbourne Gunner, Salisbury, Wiltshire, I provided administrative support to a range of senior officers from all of the Combined Services; Navy, Army, Royal Air Force and Marines.  In two years you establish quite strong relationships with colleagues regardless of rank superiority.  One of these officers Squadron Leader Nick Tucker appeared no different to any of the others.  It was after I left DNBCC that I got to hear of him murdering his wife and then attempting to conceal the act by arranging a road traffic accident. 

My plan for the future is to steer clear of explosives, murderers and dastardly deeds; it is only after searching through my own memory banks that I found a collection of slightly unusual events and I thought them worth recalling for posterity.